Parents, Beer and 7 yr olds

I got this from mom, but will not elaborate about my memories of a parent going through a screen door after drinking this"beer" they speak of.

A handful of 7 year old children were asked 'What they thought of
beer'. Some interesting responses, but the last one is especially
touching.

'I think beer must be good. My dad says the more beer he drinks the
prettier my mom gets.'--Tim, 7 years old

'Beer makes my dad sleepy and we get to watch what we want on
television when he is asleep, so beer is nice. '--Mellanie, 7 years
old

'My Mom and Dad both like beer. My Mom gets funny when she drinks it
and takes her top off at parties, but Dad doesn't think this is very
funny.'--Grady, 7 years old

'My Mom and Dad talk funny when they drink beer and the more they
drink the more they give kisses to each other, which is a good
thing.'--Toby, 7 years old

'My Dad gets funny on beer. He is funny. He also wets his pants
sometimes, so he shouldn't have too much.--Sarah, 7 years old

'My Dad loves beer. The more he drinks, the better he dances. One time
he danced right into the pool.'--Lilly, 7 years old

'I don't like beer very much. Every time Dad drinks it, he burns the
sausages on the barbecue and they taste disgusting.'--Ethan, 7 years
old

'I give Dad's beer to the dog and he goes to sleep.'--Shirley, 7 years old

'My Mom drinks beer and she says silly things and picks on My father.
Whenever she drinks beer she yells at Dad and tells him to go bury his
bone down the street again, but that doesn't make any sense at all.

Use the Disc.

Valentine's Day I used my laptop to run a slide show for our dance. I copied all images from previous events to my hard drive and let the slide show run. Next year I will run it from the disc.

The CD I was supplied had about 2 years of pictures from various Filipino-American Association of Iowa events. Everyone was enjoying watching and picking themselves out. Then we saw a pic of my 1 yr old nude in the bathroom, followed by my niece sticking her tongue out and then my 8 yr old in her signature Cross Eyes pose. It took me a minute to realize the slide show ran into my collection of picture on my local drive.

I'll tell you one thing, I'm not a perfect man, but was very happy at that moment that I didn't have any types of fetishes that could have been more embarrassing. There's something to be said for
clean(ish) living!

I quickly made it up to the projector and unplugged it while I got everything back on track. Word to the wise: next if you are going to use your personal computer for a public slide show, use the disc.

Since this information is now public, below are the pictures that were shared.

Age Calculator

I think solved it. I've figured out how to mathematically determine how old you feel.
Each sub section can only have a max effect of 18.3%

AgeYouFeel = ActualAge + Avg(AgeOfChildren) + Count(Children) + (CreditCard$Debt/10,000) - MilesRunB4Puke - (Parties/Yr) - ((DirtyThoughts/Day)/Pi)

I'm 33 but feel 36. Genius!

(composite re-post from Twitter 20090203)

Resolutions

#1: less cowbell.
#2: less Bush.
#4: don't sweat the small stuff.
#5: More carcass pix. Crowds clamor for carci.
#6: Increase lung and bladder capacity, just in case.
#7: Give wife less headaches.
#8: Quit wearing dress slacks gangster-style, when at the office, during normal business hours, G.
#9: Review children's homework more frequently so I can learn how to count.
#10: Get a clue.
#11: Commit to boxers OR briefs, at any one point in time (this can wait until Spring)
#12: Use less catch phrases from Nickelodeon and the WB
#13: More variety in diet to avoid SSDD
#14: accept importance of cell phone calls for SUV drivers.
#15: Less variability in my constants
#16: Be more efficient with time; buy sports car.
#17: Start smack to ween Starbucks addiction.
#18: More meat per tweet. 8:20 AM
#19: Come up with a better response to "Oh Yeah?".
#20 Find new song to have stuck in head for the year. {So long Sir Mix-A-Lot}
#21 Add more dramatic pauses during conversations,. . . . . . like they do before commercials in Soap Operas.
#22 Be a better parent to my kids than mine were to me: buy better tasting soap.
#23 Find a way to express gratitude and appreciation for friends and family without sounding to Cheezy.
#25: Care less about what people think and just be happy that some at least are thinking. #24 Break addiction to Placebos.
#26 Settle who's on first.
#27: neutralize opposition.
#28: Simpler is gooder.
#28: More TNA, less TLA.
#30: more Quality Assurance.
#31: Leverage Synergistic paradigms to materialize conceptualizations, profitably.
#32: Work on stamina. I've run out of ideas for new years resolutions. Appropriate for my age(32).

Friends

I have a friend named Kathy that is a bit goofy. i guess it is OK for her and Rik.

First Blog

I'll keep this short, as twitter has taught.
My focus is to capture my seemingly random thoughts and views so the aliens that open our time capsule clearly understand how and why our culture began it's demise.
Thank you for following.
-Dustin